Can I just be honest? I have been striving hard to feel that goosebumps-spirit-fulfilling feeling of loving God and His Word. I admit that I have found reading God's Word boring at some point that it just dont interests me like I used to.
I have been disappointed not to feel it and eventually got discouraged by some people around me about hypocrites.. so I stopped trying. Throughout, reading all my posts and journaling, I must say that I miss being inlove with God and thought.. "gee, how come I dont feel that again.. I feel so different because I back slided again.."
Though I hate that feeling, I still trust God that the reason why He has placed me into this position, it is to teach me again of how amazing He is and to be on the shoes temporarily of people who have not experienced this intimacy with the Lord.
God is working on my life no matter what.
Here's an encouragement:
1 Corinthians 15:58 - "..anything you do for the Lord is ever useless."
Keep striving because it will be all worth it. "Anything you do" meaning in everything that you are doing for the Lord is NEVER a waste of time and effort in searching, praying and crying for that intimacy
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